This Is How It Always Is by Laurie Frankel

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This is how it always is. I read a lot and have never written a review. This book knocked me off my feet. It taught me so much, it offered me a fresh perspective, it was enlightening and totally relatable all at the same time. I loved the characters and I couldn’t put it down but I’m so very sorry it had to end. Could not recommend any more!

Awful. Drones on and on; not well written. Disrespectful to trans community.

Read this book.. This story was marvelously written. The problem is I want to know more about this family!

This is How It always Is. This is not how it ha always been. There has been only one other time that I didn’t finish reading a book which I started to read. I’ m not saying that it isn’t a good book, but that at this time I’m not in the mood to read a book on such a serious matter. I just want to be entertained. It started out about a boy wanting to dress like a girl before being gay to transsexual was ok and the boy’ family. That’s not a subject that lends itself to entertainment.

Inspiringly awesome 💜. This book is a must read. A young child who knows what they want and an incredible family that stands by her side. Such an heartwarming novel of the struggles one faces being transgender and so young, and within a society that’s still not fully accepting nor understanding. Absolutely loved the book!

Beautiful. I laughed, cried, felt my heart break and almost burst with joy all within the pages of this book. A beautifully written story that challenges any parent to look at life through a different lens. Absolutely perfect little story.

Fair. Important story. While well written, it unfortunately felt too long and dragged.

Touching—. Heartfelt and wonderful.

Interesting story badly told. My book club chose this so I had to finish it. This could have been an engaging story in the hands of a more careful writer. Virg VW

Gripping, Compelling, Thought-provoking. All these things. In one book. Definitely makes you think and consider other sides to the narrative. I will be recommending to others, just not sure how my friends with children would react. I asked several as a hypothetical and they can’t wrap their heads around this at all.

This is how it always is. This is a book that causes you to think about what it's like to be the parent, sibling, best friend and a transgender person. It takes you through early life and decisions parents make who love all of their children. Although I thought the end was a bit too optimistic, I enjoyed learning more about a family's journey answering tough questions in our society and other societies.

Best book I’ve read in 5 years. Don’t hesitate, a wonderful story of family and how to parent your kids to become who they are

Excellent. Frankel delivers a beautifully written story about a growing family with challenges they might never imagine they were equipped to handle. I would hope to be half the mother Rosie is to Claude. Loved it.

A cute and simple read.. Fun and Fast read. Not very deep but starts good conversations. I recommend purchasing I enjoyed the book.

Stays with you. So so good. Heartfelt and thought provoking. Loved this family.

Accepting differences sentence by sentence.. This Is How It Always Is, is a book about accepting differences, parents striving to protect their children, and a deep desire to find a place where different is okay. I devoured this book in a little over two days, as I just wanted to find out how Claude/Poppy's story wrapped up. However, one of the most intriguing and clever things about this novel, is that just as Grumwalds/Princess Stephanie's story: “[. . .] has an ending, not the end, a stopping point, no more than a pause really”, so does the Walsh-Adams family story. I didn’t discover the end of Poppy’s story and therefore it has the ability to live in my thoughts perpetually. This ambiguous ending also provides readers the chance to look around themselves, their lives and identify the “neither-nor” and the “both-ands”. These concepts become ones the readers can choose to embrace in their own lives, not just in Poppy’s, Penn, Rosie, and all those touched by Poppy. An overarching theme for this novel is one we all live in our daily lives: uncertainty. This book felt very authentic to me. I even remember asking myself at the midway point if Laurie Frankel should be sharing Poppy’s story, only because it felt so real; like Poppy should be the one telling her own story. Penn and Rosie were inspiring. As parents, their priority was making their children happy. This is obviously a concept most parents understand and try to live by, but the way Frankel penned this concept for Penn and Rosie was uplifting: “Our first concern is happiness, of course. But not just today.’ Because it wasn't that simple, was it? Raising children was the longest of long games. [. . .] ‘We want him to be happy next week, next year, all the years to come too. It’s hard to make out this path, but it’s even harder to see where it leads.” Rosie and Penn strike a perfect balance for me, of letting their children learn on their own and wanting to protect their children from hurt. This becomes especially apparent when Dr. Tongo points out that maybe they have parented too well. As parents struggle daily, so do Rosie and Penn- what is good parenting, and how do we do it? Frankel shows us the ups and downs of parenting through a unique situation, is often just like parenting in general: we all want we think is best for our children. I would urge the reader not to skip the Author’s Note at the end of the novel. It helped me understand Laurie Frankel’s experience writing the novel, but also a little about raising a transgender child. I love that she acknowledged that “It’s true that my child used to be a little boy and is now a little girl. But this isnt her story. I cant tell her story; I can only tell my own story and those of the people I make up” My previous concern, because the book felt so authentic is that Frankel didn’t have the right to share Poppy’s story. Here, in her authors note, she acknowledges, no, she doesn’t have the right to tell her own daughters story, but she can tell the story of the characters she makes up. I also appreciated some of the other points she addresses in these last two pages. The most powerful quote closes her time with the reader: “I know this book will be controversial, but honestly? I keep forgetting why.”

So Moving!. Few books move me so much as to have physical reactions—laughing out loud, weeping, or goose-bumping from head to toe—but this is one of those books!

Loved it. Absolutely loved this book and the amazing ness of the family it portrays.

Incredible. Amazing amazing amazing

Amazing.. So breathtakingly beautiful. Every human should read this book.

Excellent Book. This is a wonderful book. I had a little trouble getting used to the author’s way of writing at first but the book continued to grow on me until I hard a hard time putting it down. I had tears in my eyes several times while reading as it touched my heart. I highly recommend the book.

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Possibly the best book I’ve ever read. This book was truly a joy to read from start to finish. Emotionally charged, yet incredibly thought provoking giving insight to a very sensitive topic that is not widely discussed nor written about in popular culture. I loved it.

Fantastic. The best book I have read. So well written you feel like you are part of the family. So true every family has someone that just doesn’t fit a mould! Love loved it

Wow!. Excellent book. The most thought provoking book I have read in a long time.

Loved it. More than a novel about transgender people, it explores themes of family, acceptance, and quite literally, finding one's self.

A lovely read. The storyline was beautiful and addresses the topic of transgender issues in a warm way, while not shying away from the struggles families may encounter in today’s society. I understand the need of character struggles, however I didn’t find myself enlightened or anything eye-opening about the subject. In fact, if anything, Rosie and Penn’s journey left me frustrated as a parent to read their choices and discussions. Lost steam at the end with a predictable finish, but overall a lovely, warming story.

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